There is an actual “Process” to Processing your emotions…

And everyone uses a slightly different one. This is the version that works for me, each and every time. You may find that it works for you, or that it needs to be tweaked. Give it a try and let me know what you think.

Step 1: Create a Container & Decide on what you’re processing

  • Set a time limit

  • Pick a safe space (limit interruptions)

  • Select a situation to process.

    • "General” sensations like ennui or generalized depression are not good for this process- it’s better suited for specific situations.

    • You can still be depressed & use the process. Just choose a specific event that makes you emotional or think of the last time you were triggered.

Step 2: Bring up the emotions

  • Find someone who has been through what you’ve been through & overcame it

  • TedX talks are good for this

  • For generalized / long term trauma, listening to folks who have been through extreme prejudice can be healing.

  • Allow the emotions to surface in your body

  • Allow the brain to make any connections between your situation/emotions and their situation/emotions

Step 3: Verbally call out the bodily sensations & place your hand on the pain/tension/feeling

  • Place your hand on the area

  • Name the body part and describe the sensation (burning, tingling, tightness, pinching, etc)

  • Follow it if it moves or shifts

Step 4: Answer the question “What is this emotion telling me?”

  • Write this down in a journal or on paper.

Step 5: Reflect +Learn.

  • Think about the situation that triggered you. Did someone say something?

    • In what ways is what they said true?

    • In what ways is it false?

  • Did something traumatic happen to you? What skills do you have now that you didn’t have then? Even if there was another way you might have learned those skills (perhaps a less traumatic way), those skills are now yours to keep.

    • How does that benefit you?

    • How might it benefit others?